27 April 2011

Soapbox

I hate to get all down-in-the-dumps
but right now I just need to
for a brief moment.

I'm tired of either being at work all day or at home doing nothing.
If I was at home being able to craft,
or plan, or have people over it'd be different.

Now I know this kinda conflicts with my desire
of being a stay-at-home wife/mother.
But if you think about it,
if I was able to be home all the time,
I could actually DO some of the things
I keep putting on a list
"that I'll do later".
But right now all I've been able to do
is a little bit of this and that.

Plus I really want a baby....
I know.
People think I'm crazy cuz we just got married in December.
But really, I'll be 23 this year,
and I've been wanting a child for a long time.
I love my little Sunbeams and my kinders,
but I want my own.

I also want some friends.
Some real, flesh and blood friends.
Married or single doesn't matter really,
I just want a friend...
(I'm sorry but books and fictional characters
only get me so far.)
I get lonely while Andrew is out,
and I miss the social interaction and
getting close to someone.
I miss knowing that I have someone I can count on.
I also fear rejection,
so I'm not one to throw myself out there in the world.
Which I know you basically have to do
now in this world to meet anyone.

So I will now jump off my soapbox,
and continue with some other happier posts later on.



5 comments:

  1. As you already know from my previous posts I know exactly how you feel! If I were in Arizona right now I'd be right at your side! You've got so much to offer, don't be afraid to put yourself out there. I finally got a little more involved and found a little more courage and I'm having the time of my life. You're an amazing person and I'm so glad to have you in my life! Get yourself into other people's lives!

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  2. I swear it's a newly married person thing!! I feel the same way sometimes. I'm still figuring out what works for me as to how to make friends and put myself out there, but I know it's possible. :)

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  3. Ali! It has been too long! How are you doing!? Congrats on your wedding, You got married on my birthday! :). Where are you living now? I totally know how you feel with this post, by the way! We should hang out if you are still in Arizona!

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  4. I went through this too. It happens every time we move and I feel like I have to start all over again. Sometimes if we aren't living somewhere for very long, I don't even WANT to try! But I have learned that other people feel the same and they are waiting for YOU to go up to them and make friends. Stop assuming that people don't like you. They have no reason to not like you so give them a reason to LIKE you!

    Sometimes they may be embarrassed at church that they don't know you but they feel like they are supposed to because you've been there for a while. So just go up to them and start a conversation. Invite people over for dinner. It works wonders. :)

    P.S. The yellow on your blog is kind of hard to read.

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  5. You can do it! Emily is spot on about the dinner thing. Almost no one will refuse that.

    Also, when you are bored at home you could always come to my house and play with Valette. =)

    [I'm glad you updated your yellow to this more orange-it is much easier to read on the computer, although the other color was pretty--just hard for words. Loves.]

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Welcome to our adventure!