09 October 2009

Um thoughts?

Do you ever feel like everything you've accomplished is insignificant?
Like everyone else around you is better
and has done cooler things than you?
Yeah tell me about it.

I've felt this way for awhile.
Especially when Andrew's coming home so soon
(8 ish months!)
I feel like I've done so much
and yet none of it really matters.

What have I done you ask?
Well. Basically I've worked.
Like a lot.
I was in school for awhile and such but the scholarship ended so I'm working now.
Two jobs.
One of them being very time-consuming and wonderful.
The other just fun and almost mindless.
Two very good jobs that pay me well and I get good hours.
I know I've changed a bunch
and for the better.
(And yes I know I've mentioned this before sorry)
But it feels like it doesn't matter.

Mostly because:
1. I haven't gotten married
2. I haven't been pregnant/had a baby
3. I haven't gone anywhere
4. I don't have tons of people commenting on my blog
(which is huge ya know....bah!)
5. I'm not the way I want to be yet physically
etc.

I now this is all superficial and dumb but it is how I feel sometimes.
I just needed to get it off my chest.
Consider it unburdened from my shoulders/chest area.

5 comments:

  1. Awww :( Ali, we all feel that way. I know I feel that way. :S James gets home in 20 days, and all I've done is work and school. And heck, you've got more comments on your blogs than I get on mine. :P We can't all be Lauren.

    <3 ya, Ali! You rock! :D

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  2. Well.... I'm 23 and I haven't gotten married or had a baby either, if it helps at all, I can understand how you feel. Every person in my family is in a relationship-including my younger cousins- and I'm the only one who is not. Everyone I know are getting married and having children and yet I'm floating in the world of singledom. The last fulfilling relationship I had ended three years ago. I keep questioning if anyone will ever love me again, let alone bless me with having the chance to have children. Which I really really really want.

    So I understand, sort of, where you're at and I definitely feel you for the comments! It's kind of sad how extremely excited I get when I receive a comment.

    Everyone feels kind of down and out about themselves every now and then, know that, that everyone can understand where you're coming from. But also know that you have a list of people who think you're wonderful and awesome. I think, so long as you are loved and cared for in this world it means that you are definitely doing something that's worth being proud of!

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  3. Thanks guys ;) Or girls I should say ;)

    I feel much better now ;) ;)

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  4. I know dear. It is very hard to watch others do exactly what you want to do but can't. You do have the knowledge of Andrew's single-digit months though, hopefully that will help.

    And I totally get you about the comments. Courtney is right, we cannot all be Lauren's. I practically jump for joy whenever someone comments on mine. Love you.

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  5. heres a happy thought-
    1. you will get married, just when its YOUR time.
    2. babies are awesome. but dont rush it:)
    4.You have obviously grown. Two jobs? I can't even get one! I would feel so good if I were you.
    5.I'm commenting cuz i care. I know what you mean,srsly just blogged about it.
    6. You can always start working out, and if you have a goal, I could help out if you want! even if it means going to the westwood track. we can make it fun!

    So I gave you more Happy thoughts than you gave me not-so-happy thoughts.
    Everyone thinks about their life, and its normal to feel this way, but it doesn't mean you have to feel that way.
    :)

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Welcome to our adventure!