05 September 2009

Um just stuff I guess ;)

This is me contemplating
So I've been thinking over the past few weeks
shocking I know! Thinking does not come naturally.
Just kinda thinkin.
About life, love, school, majors, social life (or the lack thereof)
and found that I'm actually content with my life.
Sure sometimes I wish I could go out more but really,
I do get to go out with my friends when I need to
and want to.
So I don't think I'm really missing out on too much.

I love not being inside the dramas anymore.
This comes from not being everywhere all the time.
And it's awesome!
I hated having to take sides when I thought the entire argument was stupid
and people just needed to grow up.
I don't have to deal with that now.
Now I just deal with the drama of work and I can handle that.
That's nothing compared to what it used to be.

This past weekend when I went to Colorado
I got the chance to talk with my favorite aunt
about everything in my life.
I value her opinion since first: she's an "outsider" to the drama,
second, she's family and cares about me,
third, she has many great insights and
fourth, she and I have more in common than I realized.
And it was awesome to stay up talking with her til 1:30 one night,
4:30 the next, and midnight the last night.
So worth the lack of sleep!

I have never really thought about dating anyone
while Andrew's been gone.
I think plenty of guys are cute and such
but I've never been one to date.
Guys would tell me that I'm a better friend than a date friend.
Whatevs! I didn't like that in high school
cuz you know, who you went to dances with was the only thing that mattered
to anyone cool and important.
AKA not me.
But now that high school is long over,
I don't feel the pressure to date like I did then.
I found my knight on my own
and he had to fight through thorny bushes and monsters
and so did I.
But we are the stronger for it, and I love him more than anything.
So I know some people are thinking that I should date more guys
while Andrew's gone but I just can't.
It would be weird for me to do that.
Especially when my dating life has been very limited.

After talking to my aunt and my daddy about it,
they understand that he means so much to me
and thus don't want to date.
No point in my humble opinion hahahahaha
Plus I've changed in more ways by not dating
than I think I would've if I had been.
I'm a different girl than I was when he left
but I'm still me.
I just feel better about myself
and that was one thing Andrew really wanted me to
work on while he was gone.
Thus I have.
Of course I still have lapses in confidence but overall,
I love who I am.

I have another huge decision to make in my life soon.
An opportunity has presented itself
but I need to figure out whether to go with it
or stay where I am.
Prayers headed my way would be much appreciated.
I know this is kinda a random post
but I had a lot of things on my mind
and needed to get it out.
Any comments/opinions are most welcome ;)

2 comments:

  1. Awwwww that's soooo cute! :D I'm so happy right now, reading about how you know what you want. I'm not a big dater, either, but I have dated. It's gonna be alright. :) You're awesome Ali! Thanks for sharing.

    P.S. Love the message for leaving a comment. XD "Leave me some happy love! Or I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!" It rocks. ^_^

    Luv ya!

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  2. "I'm a different girl than I was when he left, but I'm still me."

    ^I loved how you said this. I feel the exact same way!! You're awesome Ali! Keep going strong!

    <3 Anais

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