27 December 2008

I Feel Pretty


So the day after Christmas, after going to work at 7 AM for a few hours my parents decided to take me and my brothers on a random shopping spree. something we haven't really done in years. Nick decided he didn't want ti come, too bad for him!!

As you can see, I'm holding a Victoria's Secret bag in one of these photos. I must admit, I had never been in the store with the purpose of buying me something, usually it was for bridal showers. But my mom convinced me that it was time to get me a "real" bra instead of going to like Target or Mervyn's. So with her helping me, as much as she could seeing as she had never been in there either, we found a bunch to try on and I got 3! Holy cow! So much for going easy and breaking myself in eh? But SO incredibly worth it. After VS we went to many different stores including Charlotte Russe and Anchor Blue and of course Target ;) I got 2 new pairs of jeans, 2 new shirts, a pair of shoes (though this was from a previous shopping trip), a scarf to go with one of the shirts, and a necklace! Whew! Lots of new stuff (well at least it is to me hahahaha) and I feel pretty for the first time in my life, other than when I was wearing a prom dress. I feel confident and like I can take on the world!

The top picture is of me after tonight's shopping trip with Kayde. Who just happens to be the BEST person to shop with seeing as she knows everything and is a fashion major. She helped me find the sweater (and has one of her own too ;) ), and told me that the hat actually looked cute enough that I could buy it. We helped each other find really neat stuff and I really enjoyed shopping with her again. We haven't dome that in a long time, just shopped for the fun of it, no agenda or anything required.

With these new clothes and things I feel like a new me. Someone that's always been in me but never really has had the guts to come out because I didn't look the part. Now I'm starting to. It makes me feel accomplished already even if I do only have a minimum wage paying job, still in school, and in a complicated long distance relationship (lol). I still feel pretty and like I'm finding a whole new and better me.

Now those of you who know me know I don't wear makeup. And I probably won't wear it like ever, so this new me still has some of the old me hahahaha. I just had to write about how great I feel getting noticed again and feeling pretty. ;)

20 December 2008

It's finally really feeling a lot like Christmas




I absolutely LOVE Christmas. It's my favorite time of year and I love the cold weather, the lights, the trees, everything.

I haven't really been feeling the holiday spirit until lately because I've been dealing with finals, work, and not getting mail from my missionary but now I've decided not to put so much stock in what I'm NOT getting, but putting more in what I DO get. And since then, I've been much happier and I'm feeling the Christmas spirit. Plus the fact that I get to spoil my nursery kids and my friends really helps. I love feeling happy and really feeling that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me no matter what I do, or think, or feel. I've always known it but it's even more evident during the season when we celebrate our Savior's birth and are with our families and friends.

As you can see, I put the Grinch on this blog and it's there for a reason. This is my favorite Christmas movie and story, other than the true Christmas story of course. The Grinch tells us that even if we feel so alone and angry and that no one wants us to be around, someone always does. And it will transform us into happy hearts. And we will grow and love more and more each day because if it ;)

As we gather together this season, try to be a little more like the newly changed Grinch, and try to love more and more throughout our lives.

18 December 2008

Lalalalalalalalala

Ok so the last blog was really sad and I felt like crap. Luckily I feel better now and I feel like something great is coming right around the corner. Or at least I think it might be coming. I don't know what it is or will be but I'm looking forward to whatever it is and whenever it comes! School is finally out and now I can relax a bit and try to recenter my energy hahaha

I know this is kinda short but for now it'll do ;)

16 December 2008

Letting it all out there

My heart is hurting a lot as I write this. I just can't figure out what to do socially. I want to go out with people and have fun, but I'm terrified that if I do, I'll use all of my unused feelings of affection on someone else and then either lead him on or trick myself into loving someone else I don't truly love.

But then again, it's been over a month since I've heard from Andrew so I don't know what to think or feel anymore. There are times where I feel so far away from him, my friends, myself and I don't even know where to start. My heart is throbbing with pain and confusion during these last 6 months since he's been gone. And not all of this has to do with him I think, I just don't know what to do. I miss my friends, Andrew, and knowing myself inside and out. I feel so alone, except for the Lord's help but truly I wish I had more people I could actually confide in without feeling like a burden or like they really don't care. I'd rather have no friends than those who try to say that they understand because really no one does. I just need some people that can just like me for me and not try to understand what I'm going through, but that will listen if I need to talk or vent.

And yes I'm fiercely jealous of just about all young, married couples because that's happiness I can't/don't have right now. And it kills me when it's taken advantage of. I so want to be a wife and mother that having to wait is almost torture. Now don't get ideas like I just want to go out and get married and have kids with whomever. I just want my "happily ever after" and sometimes it just hurts to hear about other people getting theirs.

I know this is different from my normal blogging and I'm sorry but I really needed to get this off my chest.

So This is Me

Welcome to the world of Ali and my craziness ;)

I've lived in CA, CO, and AZ though AZ for the most part. Born in Santa Monica, CA about 15 minutes from the beach so I grew up half in Cali and half here in AZ. I have a great family. I have two younger brothers, Nick (17) and Trevor (13) and then me. My grandparents also live here because they only had my mom so they retired here to be closer to us. My family and friends are number one in my life. I will do anything for them (well almost anything). I turned 20 in October and my friend inspired me to create a blog.

Right now I am waiting for my missionary to come home in June 2010. He's on a mission on Argentina. And I couldn't be more proud of him and glad that he's having such a great time serving the Lord and the church. And yes, I am a Mormon but don't assume that I'm judgmental or anything of the sort. I am very open-minded and don't like it when I'm judged so I don't judge in return.

So that's a little bit about me just so you can see the crazy girl who created this blog ;)

15 December 2008

W.I.T.C.H.



Thanks Kayde ;)

14 December 2008

Hopeless Romantic



I have always loved mushy gushy love stories. Well I like a lot of them but not all. There are some that I just can't handle like The Notebook (which I know is considered a crime sorry). My dream has been to find my Prince Charming and have him carry me off into the sunset on his white horse. Wanna know how that's working out for me? Yeah about as much as you think things like that actually happening.

Now don't get me wrong, I have found the guy I would love to spend the rest of my life and forever with. He made me happier than I'd ever been and helped me find myself after I was lost. Unfortunately, we were thwarted by Fate and met too early on. Andrew is now on a mission for which I am thoroughly happy and proud that he is. But with him gone, a part of me is gone also. I haven't heard from him in about 2 months now because letters are slow to getting here from Argentina. And it's torture not to know how he's doing or anything about him and his mission. There are times when I wonder if this is worth it. My head says it's silly to think that he'd still want to be with me two years after he's seen me; but my heart won't let me feel anything less than love for him. Even when we were dating and I was cross with him, I felt nothing but love for him. The million dollar question is: Does he still feel the same?

I know this is kinda weird for me to just throw my feelings out there for everyone to see and believe me it's kinda crazy, since I don't ever do this, but it's relieving too. My diary is usually the place where I say such things as these but who knows? Maybe this will be helpful to someone somewhere down the road?

I miss him more than anything else in the world and sometimes it feels like I can't breathe because the sadness hits me but it's also getting so much easier to deal with than it was to begin with. I know I have been given a purpose (don't know exactly what purpose yet) and I can feel that I'll discover it soon or at least soonish. And I want Andrew to share this with me, but if we are not meant to be that's fine too. Though I'm 99.999999999999 x infinity sure that we will make it through this and be together. My very own happy ending with my Prince of my Dreams ;)

Tis the Season

Who would have thought that this time of year would bring me a miracle of my very own.

I had to do an education assignment where I had to go to the advisers to see how far I was on the road to graduation, and where I would go after graduation. The adviser told me that, after Spring 2009, I will only need 6 credits to graduate!!!! Woo!! And then to make it even better, she pulled up the ASU History major bachelor's degree checklist and I'm already halfway done with that already!! WOOOOOO!!!!

So guess what I'll be majoring in for my BA? Yeah that's right, History. My passion and now my livelihood ;) But I will not be teaching it though, I just want to learn all I can about every kind of history. Wish me luck!! And I hope all of you find your bliss and your calling ;)

Friends and Loved Ones

I just wrote letters to my missionary, one of my best friends out in Mongolia on his mission, and I just might write my other friend in Hungary (finally I'm sorry I'm such a ditz Courtney lol) so that they can feel the love of the Christmas season ;)

If anyone has a missionary or military friend or anyone that just really needs a lift. Write them a note or letter expressing how much they mean to you. I cant tell you how many letters I still have from like elementary school and such that are from friends of mine telling me nice things about myself. It's so refreshing and everyone needs something to lift their spirits. Especially those not at home and serving around the world.

I miss my missionary but I'm glad that he's out there in Argentina serving and teaching the people there. I miss my Mongolian missionary because he's like my older brother (he's only like 3 months older than me but still) and I rarely saw him after we graduated. James, my buddy James in Hungary (whom I have yet to write and he comes home next October, I am ashamed) I miss his subtle and witty humor. He used to help entertain all of us through classes (and P.S. I want Courtney to have her chance of a happily ever after ;> ). Cory, my oldest guy friend and the most protective, I miss him bunches too. Even though he's only in Germany right now I still worry sometimes how he's doing but I know that he's being careful so he can come home and marry my best friend from elementary school (crazy huh? ;>).

Remember all your loved ones, both far and near this holiday season and remember to write them a simple note or something little to help them know that you care about them ;)

In the Beginning

Now I have a blog where I can just be me and not have to keep in a little box like my other blogs hahahaha ;) So please comment and such so I feel special. ENJOY and LOVES to all!