14 February 2017

House Updates

Hello all!

I thought I'd update you on some of our "home improvement"
projects as we've (read: I) been trying to get them done.
 
Last week Jade refused to take a nap and
 while I normally would just make her stay in her room,
I was tired of being in the house 
so we packed up and went to Target while sister was at school.
I went there specifically looking for fudge covered Oreos.
Didn't know they're a seasonal joy *tears*
BUT in spite of the sadness the lack of Oreos brought,
I did find something I wasn't expecting:


These lights!
Couldn't you just die!
They were on sale and I thought, "These would be super cute in the girls room"
so I bought 2 boxes and we left.
Got home and realized that to get the look I wanted I needed 4 boxes total.
Soooo I packed up the kids again and went back to Target to grab more haha
But the overall look was totally worth it, am I right?!

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The girls love them!
I also picked up some globe lights for the master.
 


Our master bedroom needs some lovin.
I've been doing the gallery wall
and it's almost done,
but the other side of the room really needs some work.


Eventually this frame
(Goodwill score for $20!!)
will have a Mesa temple print in it and hung above our bed!
I feel in love with it as soon as we saw it in the frame section.
My idea is to hang the globe lights either from the ceiling 
or on the wall very close to the ceiling
with the temple below it.
I'm also planing on getting framed pictures of me and Andrew
to hang next to the temple.


Also on my list are these curtains and bedspread!
Our room desperately needs some pops of color.
The curtains that I have up currently were 
NOT the color they were advertised to be 
so it just makes the room feel even darker.







My craft room seems like it's in a constant state of flux hahaha
as soon as I think I get it organized,
more stuff comes OR
something has to be moved!



We got so lucky to have awesome friends and receieved this
amazing cabinet for a lot of my crap!
I haven't even used all of the space in it yet!
I've cleared off most of my beading table
so I can actually bead on it!
What a crazy concept hahaha
(shop here if anyone is interested in custom pieces!)
I'm still figuring it all out plus I have a closet that HAS to be dealt 
with soon in here but that is a full day project that will most likely require a lot
of help from Andrew,
hence why it hasn't been done yet hahaha





This is it's current state for who knows how long it will last haha
I have prints waiting to get frames and hung up there so I can get motivated 
and inspired while I try to create better pieces!



But slowly and surely the execution of being a good housekeeper
isn't feeling so elusive as it once did hahaha
As you see I finally organized the 
horror that was our junk drawer and it looks soooo much nicer now!
It really helps that I finally got Andrew's BBQ pieces OUT of said drawer.
Now it will actually close!

So there ya have it!
Slowly but surely we'll get this house looking how I have it in my mind!
Our kitchen walls will also have some kind of gallery wall
just because there is SOOO much space there!
Fingers crossed I can get a clock like these (1, 2, 3) for the space
(heart eye emojis!!)



31 January 2017

Let's Get Real

  In 2015 I mentioned my PPD and anxiety for the first time.
After I had Jade,
physically everything was fine with me and I felt fine.
Until 3 months after her birth.
Then something broke.
Something that over 2 years later I'm still trying to mend all the way.
 
2016 I got a little more vulnerable about it.
I don't really like to talk about it much,
probably because of the stigma behind it.
It's hard for me to admit that I have a problem that can't be fixed
by "normal means".
I don't like that this is a trial I have to go through.
But since I am going through it,
I'm learning to embrace it and get through things one day at a time.
 
 
 
Lately it has been extremely difficult for me.
I honestly do not know why.
I'm pretty good at spotting my triggers but
everything has thrown me for a loop.
I feel the world spinning and just can't catch my breath,
or suddenly the floor is pulled right out from under me.
Sometimes I'm crying for unknown reasons 
and can't stop til I've sobbed it all out.
Sometimes it's a struggle to get out of bed until I HAVE to change a diaper
(or y'all know what could happen if the diaper doesn't get fixed - yikes).
 
 
Often what helps the most is some alone time so I can breathe.
Like nap time is sacred in my house hahaha
I need that time to not be a mom for a bit,
and collect my thoughts,
maybe even eat some lunch too!
If I don't get some alone time,
I know I get crankier and am not the mom/wife I could be.
Andrew has been so wonderful with this for me.
Sometimes naps don't get taken,
(as is life am I right?)
and when he comes home he can see it in my face.
So he'll send me away to another room for at least 20-30 minutes to let me be alone.
Sometimes that's life saving.
 
I need to get out of the house without my kids. 
This is also crucial.
Or if I'm staying at home,
I need to have adult interaction without child interruptions.
One of the hardest things for me as a mom
is talking to a 4 and 2 year old all day.
Repetition and imploring and disciplining all day wears on the soul.
Adult conversation without interruption feels like a calming balm on my heart some days.
I hate that there is a stigma around these feelings.
I hate feeling ashamed to even express that this is hard for me.
Things that shouldn't necessarily be difficult sometimes just are for me now.
I try not to focus on how I used to be able to handle more,
or think that I'm now broken beyond repair or anything negative.
But it's hard when your anxiety is the loudest voice in your head.
 
 
So I write this here not to get pity or make you feel sorry for me,
but to help someone else that may be feeling the same way to know
you're not alone!
 
 
This is not something you have to battle silently about,
or feel shame when asking for help!
If you need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on,
I am here to listen! 
Send me an email, a text or a FB message,
talk to someone that has been there!
There are support groups all over FB or in your communities for this as well.
 
 
Above all, I am beyond grateful that there is Someone that has felt everything
I'm feeling and even better,
has overcome it!
In Him I can find my peace as well.
I'm trying to include more personal scripture study in general.
I'm not focusing on any one book,
but more trying to follow my feelings for the answers I need.
  I'm trying to rely on Him more and give up my burdens
to Someone who can handle them for me.
It's so not as easy as it sounds hahaha
but I'm a work in progress
and I think any small victory is worth celebrating.
 

13 January 2017

Our Holiday Recap!

Ok so I know it's January,
but I never got to talk about our holidays hahaha
so here's my catch up!
 
 
Andrew and I went to his work party on the 22nd
and we had a blast!!
I love the people he works with so much.
They are a small company and they feel like family.
We got Mickey gloves as a gag gift cuz obviously!!
The girls now enjoy playing with them hahaha 
My sparkly dress is a LulaRoe Elegant Carly.
It also sheds so I'm like a literal unicorn now right!?
Leaving sparkle everywhere I go??




We did sugar cookie decorating at my moms house with my nephew and grandma.
The kids loved it for a whole 20 minutes before asking to go play,
it was awesome!
The girls got some super cute princess hats from  
Unkie and Chelli that made their day!
 


 
Christmas Eve was at our house and we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas
like we do every year.
We did a block nativity with the kids that was hilarious!
They wanted to just play with them it was so funny!
 


 
We went to church on Christmas Sunday at my grandparents ward
and then opened presents at my moms house.
Once we got home, we were all so tired we went to bed super early hahaha
I wanted you to see the funny "behind the scenes" of this picture because
a) my 4" heels were sinking into the muddy ground hence my weird stance,
b) Rory was "freezing mommy!!!",
c) Jade just cheesed it up the whole time and tried to play in said mud.



We did a huge family lunch day after Christmas at Islands which is our favorite restaurant,
the sad part is that it's over an hour and a half away from our house now :(
But we enjoyed the food.
In fact, I ate my entire sandwich which I never do but I was STARVING!!





The girls were spoiled rotten this year! 
New jammies, new bedding
(for bunkbeds that are being put together tomorrow!!!!!!!),
new toys, new plush, I mean the works!
They are so loved and they had a great Christmas.
We got spoiled also!
Apparently my family doesn't think Andrew and I date enough cuz we got a bazillion 
gift cards for date nights hahahaha
NOT complaining here at all!

The girls have been loving this Jeep grandparents Mills gave them.
We put it together after Christmas just cuz we had NO room for it then
so now they've been playing outside with it since we put it together.

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"What can I say except you're welcome?!" hahaha
(points if you know that reference!)
Also, ignore our obviously dirt only backyard!
Someday we'll have money to put grass back there!





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New Years Eve we spent with friends
and a giant fire pit!
Couldn't have picked a better group to celebrate with!
The girls got their first ever sparklers and let's just say,
it was a HUGE hit!
And yes, that's Stacy serenading us in the background 



Day after New Years Daddy was off so we did a family date day to Moana
and then lunch at Red Robin!
(yay gift cards for Christmas hahaha)
After lunch, my parents and I went to Costco because
they had Happy Planners there for a STEAL!
$25 for 2 years worth of planner!
I had to have it!
(and my membership expired so I needed them to get in and pay for it hahaha)


(Totoro plush here, it changes colors people!!)

Thankfully now that the holidays are over,
life is getting back to normal.
We love having all of the busyness of Christmas and such
but I also like being able to breathe
and take days where I don't have to get dressed hahaha

Now onto January!! Yay!